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Friday, December 31, 2010

Still Not There..Where Is It?

ever felt like stuck in a moment of coalesced with fear of diving into the the blistering feeling uncertainties?
the land of recklessness order that beholds you?
ever felt like being on the verge of crashing down 'tersungkur' badly enough you can't even lift your face and your sense of confidence?
ever felt like gaining 1 million dollar cash yet you not feeling good/psyched bout' your gift?
where's the satisfaction that you're looking for?
Is it that you're not being thankful enough?
what is it make you felt so unfulfilled?
where's your life route?
is it on the right path?
are you diving at the right depth?
have you check your 'air supply level'?
haven't you felt you've drowned yourself too deep already?
where's your fallen gracefulness plan?
Am I ready enough for my 'leverage claustrophobia'?
have you fully acquainted yourself with all your choices or the path your makin'?
where's my golden star? my sparkling breakthrough? my glimpse of light to my lifechanging path?
The comfortless and unease feelings to say to myself that everything happens for a reason every single day.
never in my mind I've doubted that HE already have plans for me.
never in my life I've doubted YOU. For YOU I have my faith.


It's already end of the year.
Am I? Did I? Have I? achieve what I'm supposed to?
Am I a year wiser than yesterday?
honestly..


Happy newly year Guys!! Have A Great years ahead of ya..for what ever past, let it past and move forward.
Reminiscence your joyous years of life and journey without regrets.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Catharsis #1

*Currently obsessed With Skulls And Vibrant Colors*

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Out Of Nothing

Monday, December 6, 2010

Umur vs Lilitan Perut

Seberapa besarkah perut anda mampu mengembang?? Fenomena urban yang pasti akan melanda bagi kaum adam dan hawa sebaik sahaja memulakan fasa alam pekerjaan. Mengapakah fenomena pandemic ini melanda pada para-para graduan ini berleluasa? dan mengapakah this so called 'plague perut buncit' ini melanda sebaik sahaja anda mula bekerja?
Terlalu banyak hipotesis yang boleh dirungkaikan dan disimpulkan, antara hipotesis yang boleh dibuat adalah :
  1. Anda telah bekerja dan mempunyai duit sendiri. Tiada halangan bagi anda menikmati titik peluh anda dengan makanan, namun pengambilan kadar karbohidrat dan glukosa yang berlebihan menyebabkan perut anda mengembang lantas anda malas untuk melakukan rutin exercise anda *if applicable*
  2. Anda sememangnya mempunyai nafsu makan yang besar, tidak kiralah anda sudah bekerja *mempunyai wang sendiri @ tidak* memang perut anda akan terus mengembang mengikut peredaran umur anda.
  3. Anda sememangnya mempunyai figure badan yang berisi dan konsep hidup "who gives a F**K"
  4. Anda telah berkahwin dan fenomena pergaulan hormon lelaki dan perempuan menyebabkan perut anda mengembang.
Jika diperhatikan graf umur vs kadar lilitan perut diatas dapat disimpulkan berdasarkan hipotisis yang telah dibuat :
  1. Kadar lilitan perut bagi mereka yang berumur 24 tahun ke atas menunjukkan peningkatan drastik sekiranya :
    • Anda bekerja di sektor kerajaan
    • Tidak mengamalkan senaman kardio purata 12 jam seminggu
    • Mengamalkan amalan pemakanan yang mementingkan lemak/karbohidrat dari kalsium/vitamin atau garam mineral yang lain.
    • Anda sememangnya mempunyai masalah obesiti semenjak berumur 5 tahun.
      * These factors maybe vary*
    1. Breakeven value/Normality point/Penanda aras bagi kadar lilitan perut yg perfect adalah pada umur sekitar 22 tahun.*tembakan padu*
    2. Antara 'catalyst' kadar peningkatan lilitan perut anda adalah sikap MALAS dan tabiat makan excessively
    3. Junk Food = makanan ruji anda.
    4. Untuk berada dalam lingkungan bulatan biru hanyalah fantasi semata-mata sekiranya anda mempunyai 4 ciri-ciri point diatas.
     Sekian-Sharing Is Caring - Thanks to capangan for charts idea.aku pun tiru lah.

    p/s : saya sendiri telah mengalami masalah perut buncit ini dan sedang berusaha untuk mengurangkan kadar lilitan perut saya. chaiyok!

    Tuesday, November 23, 2010

    aufblitzen

     
     
    DefendEquality - ChoosedbyPopularNationalismeSocialisme=Nazis - DeathskullFuhrer - LNdtglaKL

    Tuesday, November 16, 2010

    Devil's Playtime

    Devil..another movie which produce by the myth/horror movie mystro
    M Night Shyamalan
    First impression is like..What The Fuck is This movie all about?? 85% scene and storyline is in the elevator..but still the movie really didn't failed to terrify the audience with effortless diabolic-satanic-thriller which gives you chill to the bone. For me the movie really brings up the truly horrifying satanic experience. The main storyline of the movie is about Detective Bowden (Chris Messina) the Philadelphia Homicide Detective whose been dispatched to investigate on the suspicious suicide and later on end up with five obnoxious passenger which was destined to be in the elevator to foresee the grotesque experience of demonic witchcraft that end up with redemption of past guiltiness.
    The movie really capture the essence of fear to the audience and you'll be amaze on the outcome of the movie. You'll never come close to figure it out. Must watch. 3.8/5 movie for me.


    here's some mixed reviews and critics for the movie.

    "Its overall slightness as a chiller only stresses that this was material unworthy of a notorious control freak filmmaker's undivided attention." - Robert Abele Los - Angeles Times

    "The great cinematographer Tak Fujimoto has the time of his life on this low-budget horror feature, playing with dolly shots, abrupt zooms, and negative space inside the widescreen frame, and the fun is infectious." - Ben Sachs - Chicago Reader

    "the picture's major sin, while not totally shafting those in the market for a chilling ride, is that it's ultimately more corny than creepy." - Michael Rechtshaffen - The Hollywood Reporter

    Thursday, November 11, 2010

    My 25th Years of Celebrating Life.


    Today marks my 25th year of life. How was it? if you asked me..is it as fulfilled and accomplished as I thought it would be like the past 10 years ago?? the answer would be : tidak sama sekali..hoho - 67% of it meleset* - but thats life. No matter what ur plan is and whatever your plans would be, only HIM will decide it for you..the rest is all based on your will and effort.

    during my BD this year..I've felt so blessed. A lot of  mishaps and "unexpected-life-decision-experience" occurs yet..I'm happy with all the current happenings of life as we speak. But thats the kind of life we have to face..right? The challenges, the ups and downs that we need to endure. all the bad luck and even kejatuhtersungkuran melanda. But all of that I've always remembered that along the way we endure and navigate our life..never lose yourself, never lose hope and always believe for the best that you do.

    Syukur Alhamdulillah for I still have the chance to breathe the same air, the chance to do-the-right-n-wrong about life, chance to be good to myself and others, chance to be thankful and grateful for everything I have and what I've gone through, the chance to love and to be loved, the chance to be better in life, chance to be more positive about life, chance to improve myself, and most important of all, the chance to feel the joy of life. Let's look forward and remember there's more to life if we want to make it happen. I've once remembered a quote :

    "Life isnt about how fast u run. Its about perseverance, staying on your feet and slogging forward no matter what" ~Dean Koontz

    all I wish for my 25th year of life is that :
    • I wish I have all the time to reminiscences my years of youth before I'm getting older day by day.
    • I wish I can feel all the life can offer before I 'go'.
    • I wish I can embrace this so call life without regrets.

    p/s : Thank you so much for all the birthday wishes. It meant a lot to me.!! another year of lifecycle 'ticked' and completed..I'm only at 37% overall achievement of myself. the rest of 63%..well..don't even ask.

    Happy birthday to me..all the best in life and gud Luck!

    Monday, November 8, 2010

    New Band In Town : Local Natives

    Here's is the new band that I really wanna share with you guys.
    .Local Natives.
    The tune is contagious, smooth, serene and unconventional from the other everyday bands you heard. The indie rock quintet from Los Angeles really captures the deep sense of dreamy orchestral and avant-garde clean emotional post-punk sounds. Their music really captures the idea of dreamy post punk sounds which makes you dance and flailing helplessly to the harmonious vocal, sweet piano, duetting guitars, and insistent drumming.

    If you guys like the sounds of smashing pumpkin's melancholic tunes of Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness  - Thirty Three and Ava Adore - Tears; you guys should really try hear them out.

    For me local natives has own the rights to be as hip and tunable sounds comparing to Grizzly Bear, Vampire Weekend, bon Iver and Fleet Foxes. It's a heavenly harmonized and adventurously rhythm really captures the idea of harmonium, serenity esoteric edges of post-punk and Afro-beat.


    Find out more of their tunes here

    here's some of my fav songs from this band at the moment.cheers!



    Wednesday, November 3, 2010

    Crash Landing

    Life crashing you before you're expecting it. It's freakin' scary dude. No kidding. It's a one of the most freakish feelings that we all have to face in life when you felt that your time is not up yet. What if your plans went crashing and burns horrendously? what if something went wrong in the middle? what if you'll never make it? what if I will never achieve what I've hoped for? that's what I'm facing right now, Me Being fucking 'OLD' before my time.
    *F F F F = I'm cursing rite now* 
    Nevertheless with all the emotion roller coaster tumbling u upside down, you need to face it through. Bravely and manly. rite? that's what people would say and that's what I really should be doing. *working on it* 
    On the other hand; It's not like I'm trying to be evasive and defensive regarding on my future. It's just there's a huge 'cloudy hazes of uncertainties' rumbling heavily in front of me. It's like I'm further from my 'solid gold' plans and everyday is like another step onto a 'foamy grounds' of make believe that I'm doing just fine with what I'm leaning onto right now. FUCK! I'm scared man. I really am. If only people can at least see a glimpse of future, would it be nice. Like I told u guys earlier, life is about taking risk and learning from mistakes rite? what if deep down inside you know that you can't even afford yourself making mistakes, it's not who you  really are and it's not the way you run your life? how am I gonna get through? Am I ready for it? *Sigh*

    p/s after a few days of 'kekacauan jiwa' and numerous youth reconciliation attempts. Now I'm More Than Ready To Face My Future. Come On Life. Come Crashing Hard onto Me.

    Sunday, October 31, 2010

    Another One Down

    Happy Married Life Amir Rizal..Have A Blissful Married Life!!
    p/s To all single man in geng bulan..we're counting our days now..but the Question is who's NEXT??!!!

    Tuesday, October 26, 2010

    Adolf Hitler's Rise To Power

    I've always been fascinated by the world's history, the downfall, the assassinations, the triumph, the glory and etc. One of my favorite history is the downfall dictatorship of Adolf Hitler. Such idealism, power, vision, such visceral inspiration of nationalism.With such power his falter of militarism and brutality era caused by his anti-Semitic idealism and obsession for anti-zionism which he did call once a "great movement" coalesced his view that one cannot be both a German and a Jew. This entry is not to emphasized on the cruelty and racism ideology that he's stands for, but to dedicate the idea and share on Hitler's remarkable and astounding idealism of his that have change the history of the world. A man who've conquered the world with his vision and brutality. Fascinating!

    History of Adolf Hitler's himself (based on wikipedia.)
    Hitler rose to a place of prominence in the early years of the party (1919 - 1923) largely as a result of his considerable skills in oratory, organization and promotion. He was aided in part by his willingness to use violence in advancing his political objectives and to recruit party members who were willing to do the same. Later his book Mein Kampf (usually translated as My Struggle) introduced Hitler to a wider audience. Hitler's rise to power in Germany began  in September 1919 when Hitler joined the political party that was known as the Deutsche Arbeiterpartei (abbreviated as DAP, and later commonly referred to as the Nazi Party). This political party was formed and developed during the post-World War I era. It was anti-Marxist and was opposed to the democratic post-war government of the Weimar Republic and the Treaty of Versailles; and it advocated extreme nationalism and Pan-Germanism as well as virulent anti-Semitism.
    In his book Mein Kampf has assumed a key place in the functionalism versus intentionalism debate. Intentionalists insist that the passage stating that if 12,000–15,000 Jews were gassed, then "the sacrifice of millions of soldiers would not have been in vain," proves quite clearly that Hitler had a master plan for the genocide of the Jewish people all along. In Mein Kampf, Hitler blamed Germany’s chief woes on the parliament of the Weimar Republic, the Jews, Social Democrats, as well as Marxists. He announced that he wanted to completely destroy the parliamentary system, believing it in principle to be corrupt, as those that reach power are inherent opportunist.
    After 75 years, his dictatorship ascended to the Chancellery and secured his hold on Germany. Hitler once announces his hatred of what he believed to be the world's twin evils: Communism and Judaism. The new territory that Germany needed to obtain would properly nurture the "historic destiny" of the German people; this goal, which Hitler referred to as Lebensraum (living space), explains why Hitler aggressively expanded Germany Eastward, specifically the invasions of Czechoslovakia and Poland, before he launched his attack against Russia. Here is some of the historic pics of Hitler's reign era.(courtesy of Time Magazine.)

    Out of Obscurity
    After serving unremarkably in the First World War, the future dictator immersed himself in the German nationalist politics of Munich. In 1921, he claimed control of the German Workers Party and renamed it the National Socialist German Workers Party, and gave himself the title of Führer. In this 1922 photo, he poses with members of the group's paramilitary organization, the Sturmabteilung, known by its initials, SA.

    Munich
    After an abortive seizure of power in 1923, known in history books as the Beer Hall Putsch, Hitler was arrested and tried. During the trial, however, he was given unlimited time to speak and his popularity soared. By the time this photo was taken in 1929, he was out of jail and gaining prominence.

    Orator
    A great deal of the Führer's appeal lay in his inflammatory speeches attacking Jews, social democrats, capitalists and communists. His comments often evoked a sense of wounded national pride caused by the losses imposed on Germany by the allies at the end of World War I.

    Chancellor
    After a series of national elections, the National Socialists rose to become the largest party in the Reichstag, or Parliament. On the 30th of January, 1933, President Paul von Hindenburg was forced to appoint Hitler, the party leader, as Chancellor.

    Corridors of Power
    During Hitler's time in power, the German government sponsored architecture on an immense scale, including this office building in Munich, designed by architect Paul Troost.

    Mass Meeting
    Gigantic political rallies became a staple of life in the new Nazi Germany. At this gathering at Buckeberg in 1934, the Führer passes risers of flag-bearing members of the SA.

    Expansion
    After pressuring Austria to join with Germany, Hitler turned his sights on a German-speaking region of Czechoslovakia, called the Sudatenland. At a summit held in Munich in 1938, the allies agreed to allow Germany to annex the lands. In the fall of that year, Nazi vehicles paraded triumphantly through one of the district's towns.

     
    Salute to Evil
    By 1938, Hitler was the supreme leader of Germany. Within a year, his aggressive policies would plunge Europe into war and his racist ideas would find horrific implementation. It is estimated that over ten million people, including six million Jews, died in the German death camps.


    Read more about Adolf Hitler here
    Courtesy of Time Magazine & Wikipedia 2010

    Friday, October 22, 2010

    Is It Now?

    Am I getting old before my time? 
    My life's coming towards me like a speeding bullet. 
    Am I blind for what is in front of me? 
    I can't get to run away from it. 
    I'm freaking Out *AGAIN* 
    I guess it's just way too early.
    I can't commit without solid ground. 
    It's normal to say my reasons right?
    Maybe all I need is time.
    If only I had better ground.
    Maybe It's a test from HIM.

    p/s for what ever you do.I'll support you no matter what.that's a promise

    Tuesday, October 19, 2010

    Youth In Revolt

    Youth in revolt really portraits about the agonies of a teenage virgin (Nick Twisp played by Michael Cera) whose been frustrated by his lack of "sex experience" and in desperate attempts craving for a "cheap-ass-fuck-made-believe-sex". A story about what a teenage will do whose fueled with angst becoming a rebellious and revolted for an "everlasting lustful puppy LOVE". Michael Cera also plays as François Dillinger an imaginary alter ego inspired by Jean-Paul Belmondo whose been driving Nick mad for the "made believe sex" that he's going to have with Sheena (Portia Doubleday).
    This movie really emphasize on the experience of teenage seductions, rejections, temptations, expectations, envious, vulnerabilities and visceral conviction of teenage lust. A quirky cute lovesick adolescent story that starts with an impish and fun idea which turns out to be a devastated results in hoping for a cheap teen fuck which costs him so much greater that he wouldn't imagine!

     

    Here's some of the critics for youth in revolt :

    "Youth in Revolt is a teen fantasy filled with lust, imagination, frustration and lots of laughs, artfully made and superbly played." - Tom Long - Detroit News

    "I love this new breed of dirty movie. It goes beyond leering, beyond sexism, to the core tension of a culture that ricochets between Puritanism and promiscuity. And it has in Michael Cera a sterling mascot." - David Edelstein - New York Magazine

    "Some may find such elements desperate or calculated in their quirky-cuteness, but I think they add to the movie's efforts to evoke the surrealism and excruciating intensity of, as the title puts it, youth in revolt." - Tom Maurstad - Dallas Morning News

    One funny facts about the movie is that  no drugs whatsoever were involved at all.*nice* A must watch movie.

    Friday, October 15, 2010

    Public Announcement #1

    Harga rokok telah naik secara tiba-tiba tanpa pemberitahuan secara rasmi dari kerajaan pada 4 oktober 2010 yang lepas dilihat mengakibatkan impak kurang baik kepada perokok-perokok tegar di Malaysia. Kadar kenaikkan rokok yang dikenakan dilihat terlalu mendadak dan absurd. Kenaikkan sebanyak RM0.70 which is equivalent akan harga sekeping roti canai di Malaysia pada tahun 2007 sedikit sebanyak mengakibatkan krisis perbelanjaan bulanan kepada perokok-perokok tegar di Malaysia. Krisis perbelanjaan ini  mengimplikasikan peningkatan perbelanjaan bulanan bagi penghisap rokok-rokok which can go as high as RM300/month. Wow!! dapat disimpulkan bahawa perokok-perokok masa kini adalah antara golongan-golongan yang berbelanja secara mewah setiap bulan. Min RM300 sebulan  merupakan penanda aras bagi membezakan kasta anda di dalam masyarakat sosialis perokok tegar. Penanda aras ini membezakan anda selaku perokok tegar elit di Malaysia atau sebaliknya. [Perokok elit dikategorikan sebagai perokok-perokok setia Marlboro, Dunhill, Kent dan sengkatannya - no offense]. Selain itu perokok-perokok tegar ini dinasihatkan  agar sentiasa mengamalkan exercise regulalrly bagi memastikan kapasiti jantung dan peparu yang mantap dalam usaha meneruskan proses cremation jantung dan peparu anda.
    [cremation = meleburkan jantung  dan peparu anda dengan rokok-rokok tersedia.]

    Kenaikan harga rokok ini dilihat sebagai antara langkah-langkah termudah dan ter'kacang'  pihak kerajaan Malaysia dalam usaha meningkatkan KDNK negara seperti yang disasarkan iaitu penumbuhan 6% setiap tahun bagi memastikan Malaysia berstatus negara berpendapatan tinggi menjelang 2020. Ini kerana addiction really benefits the government. Don't you think??

    Sedikit Visual Aid Untuk Perokok-Perokok Tegar Malaysia 
    -p/s : we're still OK comparing to the other countries-

      World Tobacco Chart Info as of 2005 courtesy of Time Magazine

    Daripada Rajah yang tertera diatas kita boleh membuat kesimpulan :
    1. Sehingga 2005, Malaysia merupakan negara ke-lapan (8), tertinggi di dunia populasi perokok yang berumur 15 tahun ke atas. Dimana jumlah perokok di Malaysia adalah seramai 4,189,090 orang.
    2. Cuma 0.6% kurang dari negara ke-7 populasi teramai perokok iaitu Jepun.
    3. Russian adalah antara perokok teramai di muka dunia.
    4. 6 punca utama kematian diseluruh dunia (dari avg. jumlah kematian populasi dunia seramai 57 juta orang) adalah berpunca dari tabiat merokok
    5. Ghanaian adalah penyumbang tersikit cukai rokok di dunia.
    6. Even negara-negara jiran kita iaitu Indonesia dan Thailand yang mempunyai volum penduduk yang lebih tinggi dari Malaysia tidak tersenarai di dalam populasi perokok tegar di dunia.
    7. Conclusion yang lain boleh dibuat sendiri.

    The Only alternatif tebaik sedia ada untuk fenomena kenaikan harga rokok ini adalah BERHENTI MEROKOK. Didn't we all agree smokers?? BUT..We didn't want to take the hard way rite smokers? instead we'll all just continue what we have done best to our lungs and heart. We Burn The Hell Out of Them..We burn them to the ground rite? QUITTING is for pussies. That's they (smokers) would say..even though from the bottom of our heart we know that BERHENTI MEROKOK is the best solution. Quitting on ciggarettes adalah jalan yang terbaik bagi menjamin kestabilan ekonomi, kemampuan perbelanjaan bulanan disamping menjamin kesihatan perokok-perokok tegar di Malaysia. Namun dalam usaha menghentikan tabiat negatif ini (which is like very  impossible) we'll continue being ignorance and we'll continue buying them. Alas apa yang boleh kita simpulkan dan siratkan disini adalah, kita secara tidak langsung membantu kerajaan menjayakan idealisme Liberisasi yang sedang dipraktikkan dalam tampok pemerintahan kerajaan kini yang dilihat menguntungkan pihak-pihak tertentu dan kasta-kasta tinggi sahaja. we'll continue to support the idea of liberalism  and capitalism of the government on oppressed men whose been struggling with addictions in this case  tobacco/rokok/cigarettes!
    DAMN YOU Liberalization. FUCK YOU Capitalism .
    Kesimpulan yang boleh dibuat dari fenomena kenaikan yang tiada penghujungnya ini adalah..You're not buying time for your life/health...your paying the organization and so called fuckin' capitalist of your each decreasing minutes/hour/years of your life. Damn you addictions.


    P/s RMK-10 sedang berlangsung..harap-harap there will be many good news for Malaysian.

    Wednesday, October 13, 2010

    A Wishful Night Of Bliss And Blessings

    .the night is warm.
    .the air is damp.
    .i'm still sweating.
    .time's ticking.
    .i'm still in the haze of uncertainties.
    .i wish i would be firmer.
    .hope is still there.
    .the quiet night scares me.
    .i'm craving for Bali air breeze.
    .i'm craving for serenity.
    .i wanna freeze time.
    .i wanna be wealthier.
    .i should be healthier.
    .i wish i'm wiser.
    .i'm further than i'm supposed to be.
    .to god.
    .to affirmation.
    .i'm still flailing.
    .i'm still skipping my devoir.
    .i'm still hoping my diligence pays.
    .i'm still wishing for my prayers.
    .i'm still incoherent
    .i'm still addicted.
    .i'm embracing my life the best way i can.
    .my birthday's coming.
    .yet i'm still nothing to be proud of.

    Wednesday, October 6, 2010

    Cabaret Moderate

    As you guys know I'm a drool when It comes to
    single female singers.
    Here's another artist that I wanna share with u guys.
    I'm currently obsessed *a bit kinda strong word there* frequently listening to the  Punk Cabaret Rockstar :
    Amanda Palmer
    listening to the various of her songs and the previous The Dresden Dolls, Cabaret songs has the new breathe of sounds and that can be captured as new wave of 'happy-old-sappy-songs'
    during the 20's and 30's.
    There something about this genre really intrigue me and capture the sense of new breathe catharsis of music inside me.
    It's dark, it's all about self belief, it's about anarchism, It's about expressing yourself, It's about delivering your creativeness and the divergence of the everyday music that we normally listen to. 
    What is punk cabaret or dark cabaret by the way??
    Punk Cabaret can be define as theme and mood of a Cabaret performance  which draws on the aesthetics of the decadent, risqué German Weimar-era cabarets, burlesque and Vaudeville shows with the stylings of post-1970s goth and punk music. *based on the source of wikipedia*
    Amanda Palmer : She's so bad ass didn't she.
    get more of her on
    Facebook  : http://www.facebook.com/amandapalmer
    Twitter : http://www.twitter.com/amandapalmer
    Official Site : http://www.amandapalmer.net
    Blogs : http://www.whokilledamandapalmer.com
      Amand Palmer : a voracious seeker of creative catharsis
    All rights reserved by Amanda Palmer Photo
    Here's one of my current favourite song to be listen to..Amanda Fucking Palmer Rocks!!

    Friday, October 1, 2010

    The Endless Battle

    Life is like a tumbling road nowadays..the road seems like narrowing at the end. I can't see myself being there at the end of the road; alas seems like my life are so far from being on the right track and I'm diving fast and deeper down to the fuckin' downfall lane and I'm not very proud of myself. So much infirmity happened nowadays. Infirmity.Disappointment.Rejection. I'm fucking terrified of these words. I'm having panic attack syndrome on daily basis. It's much worst than pregnancy contraction.*i guess*. I felt like my world is became more and more preposterous day by day. Life is like tumbling and rumbling in the 'failure'ness brawl. I'm in the state of euphoric 'apocalyp'ness and  I'm freaking out.

    I indeed need some sort of moral catalyst to urge myself! maybe I'm just being such a whining OLD man worrying something that I shouldn't or wouldn't. I'm kinda lost.I hate myself for not doing the right thing at the first place. Sometimes I think I'm being such a wimp whining OLD man, wanting so much inveteracy and affirmative in life, feelings like : 'I-should-have-done-this-by-now/year/2013', thinking that I should be making at least 36k/year by now and etc..Maybe I'm just being overreacting, I was thinking  way too much about life, overly think about my future prospects : the only think that can bring me back to reality is that : I'm saying to myself : "YOU DON'T KNOW THE Freakin' FUTURE DUDE!! Stop the fucking madness!! It's so overrated - stop being too organized and too "one-step-ahead" about your life could ya? Life is all about taking risk..life is about taking second chance..Life is about making wrong decision and learning your lessons. Stop worrying too much about your life, let life run its course by itself and be happy with what and who your are...you're just perfect the way you are..you can't be too well plan and having so much plan in life..let life be..let god decide on your destiny and your life..let time passed by...let your life run unaccordingly. Like Florance Welch once quoted :

    "Don't worry too much about the everyday things. Otherwise you'll lose touch with your own world,"

    Don't freak out just simply because your slightly out of track. Life is a roller coaster ride ain't it? Life should be free. Life should be on the course by itself. Let god decide what HE have destined for you, don't lose your faith, have faith in qada' and qadar..Life is all about putting your effort wisely and always pray/hoping for something better..with gods will you'll be on the right track and life will soon get better.


    Monday, September 27, 2010

    The Fallen Grace of a Boyhood - Welcoming The World of Manhood

    What makes you a man?? what is it differentiate you a boy from a man?? simple question with simple answer.. responsibilities in my context (nikah). Taking the ownership of responsibilities and live your life with it. Bernikah is a big responsibilities and it's scary!! rite!!?? Nikah is like a testament of you being ready for the responsibilities to be hold. Am I rite?? during and before the Nikah session..men must be like stutter/shivering/nk terciritbirits/demam2. I think its normal to have those feelings. All the rush of blood, all the adrenalin rush, all the toilet sessions menyeramkan~~ some men felt that marriage is like a desolation of their freedom, a grotesque experience of a dying freedom and being single. but it's actually the exaltation of life that need to be felt and celebrate.

    I've experience the 1st glimpse of  Manhood last friday.(again in my context : Nikah). It was a nervewrecking experience and a refreshing perspective of life as a man. Bernikah is like a receivership all mother of responsibilities passing from the father to a husband in the most sacred and religious way. It takes a courage to perceive such responsibilities. I salute to those men who've experience such.

    I really hope I'm more than ready for the world of manhood when my time comes..hopefully it's not too soon..*wink*

    welcome to manhood and married life ikan@norazri azis & Nurhidayah Rusli..have a blissful married life..~ Amin~

    Wednesday, September 15, 2010

    Unname Post

    It seems like everything running as per normal nowadays..slow and 'dampy' like they used to..nothing much to look forward to currently. I guess its that time of the year where everything slows down and rotating accordingly. Life is as per usual : normal, content, confined, laying low. 
    I've managed to go through the Ramadhan month successfully - Alhamdulillah..on the solat side maybe terkantoi a bit *banyak terbarai jugak la actually*..managed to overcome my temptations, as like previous years - I've successfully completed my 3rd Rukun Islam - 100% ya'll - I'm pleased with myself..Raya celebration was OKey..nothing much to celebrate since my granddad past away last year (rest in peace atok..we miss you).Raya celebration this year in moderate mode.
    Nothing much to be celebrate and to be joyous about this year of Raya, except seeing your relatives, aunts, uncles and nieces. Yearly there will be a repetitive session with all my relatives - over and over - enthusiastic questions  reigning on me regarding "My Wedding Date/plans" - "Where's Ur Hani?" - "Bile nak bawak jumpe kitorang?" - gossiping about my future undertaking on marriage/career paths and so on ... bla bla bla..I got stuck with all the questions and the answers people; will always be the same  and repetitively - "Insyaallah, ade rezeki - ade la" - but thats what families do rite? catching up..bahan-bahan..gather up as a family and etc, besides on gaduh-gaduh rebut harta, cut each others throat..rite? well the rest of my Raya celebration is the same..

    anyway wishing you guys..

    Happy Eid Mubarak 1431Hijrah to all Friends, Families and Colleagues - Have a blessed and blissful Hari Raya to all of you.


    Me Sincerely

    Friday, August 27, 2010

    "Gump"A Quotes

    I've just doing my re-run films of my movie stash..and I've pick up the "best movie of the night by choice" : Forrest gump : Really moving and Inspiring~ One Hack a Movie! I wrote this entreè just to commemorate my feeling of being inspired in moving forward in life to what ever that you've gonna through, and keep moving forward till there's no more soul inside of you..
    The tenacity, the patience, the positiveness, the effort in order to succeed in life, to live your life, no matter how imperfectness you are..as long as there's will..you'll be succeed. 

    Some of the famous and my favorite quotes in the movie that touched and inspires me :

    "Life is like a box of chocolate, We'll never know what we'll gonna get"

    The Scene where Mrs. Gump was just being finished diagnosed by local town doctor and lying lifelessly on the bed. Slowly Forest Gump reaching his mother's hand and said :
    ______________________________________________

    Forrest Gump narrative : "Mama always said, dying was a part of life. I sure wish it wasn't."
    "Everybody have their own destiny Forest, Like me; I'm destined to be your mama," said Mrs. Gump
    "How about my destiny, Mama? " Forest asked indistinctly
    With a solemn and sad face Mrs.Gump replied :

    "You're gonna have to figure that out for yourself."
    "You have to do the best with what God gave you."

    Forrest Gump : "Mama always said, dying was a part of life. I sure wish it wasn't."

    another memorable scene is :
    The part when Forrest having their wedding ceremony with Jenny at their home. The scene where Jenny was still sleeping on the bed and Forrest was looking towards Jenny lying while holding breakfast. Slowly Jenny open up her eyes and saw Forrest standing still in front of her. Jenny telling Forrest how sick she was and his illness cannot be cured (HIV). Jenny was lying on bed and said :
    ______________________________________________

    Jenny Curran : "Were you scared in Vietnam?"
    Forrest Gump : Yes. Well, I-I don't know. Sometimes it would stop raining long enough for the stars to come out... and then it was nice. It was like just before the sun goes to bed down on the bayou. There was always a million sparkles on the water... like that mountain lake. It was so clear, Jenny, it looked like there were two skies one on top of the other. And then in the desert, when the sun comes up, I couldn't tell where heaven stopped and the earth began. It's so beautiful.
    Jenny Curran : I wish I could've been there with you.
    Forrest Gump : You were.


    Sedutan gambar dari filem "Forrest Gump" - (1994)

    Sekian..sharing is caring

    Monday, August 23, 2010

    Colossal AssHat?? or Am I was On The Dream Of Becoming The Next American Idol??

    with my recent happenings..I really need to giddy up and move forward..I can't say that the failure really hits me and make me really felt such a effin' LOSER but I know that I really need to move on..I need to build up back my confidence..I was demoralized..I was stunned, I felt all the things I've done such a waste..ahhh~ forget bout the past..think more of the future behold me..I really need to get back on track..That's the 1st thing that I really need to do rite now.
    People do fails sometimes right? the best thing to do is that you've learned your mistakes and never to repeat it again. Nobody's perfect..I'm only a human..and I do make mistakes!! Moving to~


    On the other side of Another story

    On the evening of 19th August 2010, exactly on the 9th of Ramadhan, I've decided to berbuke with my Hunny at the CheeMeng Nasi Ayam Bukit Bintang. It was like any other day in KL, busy and packed,I've gambled my time and precious berbuke moments with my family for Chee Meng Chicken rice at BB.Bukit Bintang!! dengan jalan jam sume kot..takpe..kering bak kate my Hunny [Dua-dua kemarok nasik ayam Chee Meng]..and guess what..while I was having my yummy Nasi Ayam Chee Meng..Tiz Zaqyah *the artist tuh* passed me..I was shock and automaticaly my eyes was blinking-blinking towards her..while I was bermain-main mata with Tiz Zaqyah & at the end of the shop lies Natasha Hudson! staring at ME! I was stoked!! 2 artist in one time while bermate-mate with me..I can't take it..I was sooo overwhelmed..While my attention diverted back to miss Tizq..Natasha hudson who is on the other side was making a jealousy girlish face..aku serba salah..lalu aku terpandang my Hunny..aku tersenyum..tak kesah lah artist malaysia or Hollywood ke..hanya sorg je yang mampu buat aku cair..non the less my Hun..*winkwink*Gile Gempak!! cite aku!! cool bukan?!!* as my history with fellow Malaysian actress Sazzy Falak way already past me..such occurrence gives an Irony Thought - Am I an "MalaysianArtistChick Magnet"?? - Am I actually an artist trapped in a body of a living human which life which is such unfabulous and undeserve fame" *curiously thought..* tak leh blah cite aku*blluuwweerrgghhh - muntah darah*

    sekian..selamat berbuke everyone!! Ini hanyalah cerita semata-mata tiada niat menyakiti atau menganiaya sesiapa..

    Saturday, August 14, 2010

    It's not my time yet..or NEVER? F*#k!

    oouuucchhh.. reality hits me big time, In My FACE!!..darn motherEffer! seriously..it was catastrophic.It's like someone just hit your face with a sledgehammer..so freaking hurts!! I'm lost..I'm wandering deeper into another solemnity of instability..dayymmnn!! It hurts man..you really got me off guard this time..I'm devastated..I really do..but I need to move on..expending and reconstructing another 'FuckedUp plan' and dive deeper into another uncertainties. *Good Luck with that*
    I'm lost again in my own masze..I thought I've worked out my plan..it turns out..it was my plan who worked/fucked me up in the ass..IN the ASS!!
    I believe things happened for a reason.don't you??..be calm and embrace it..The best thing to do now Faliq is to get out from your own hypothetically maze and learn from the mistake done..Move forward, never look back..I wish I had the strength..I need time for myself..I was drowned in my  own make belief so called "the  most integral time of my life" and I need to get out of it ASAP as I'm getting more paranoid about my future day by day and I'm not happy to my self about it..

    p/s until the 3rd day of ramadhan I've lost another 3 kilos..kudos faliq..keep up the fat burning sensation..

    Wednesday, August 11, 2010

    The Year Of 1000 Celebrations Of Life!!

    As we speak now..I've just wondering what I've accomplish for this year..even though it's still a lil bit too early to review about the year gone by..** "It's only august la dey".....but I really felt that I need to do this **..OK!! bersambung balik to what I'm trying to say about accomplishments so far for this year..my accomplishment as of august..in my own interpretation would be.. "not much, too many uncertainties, unstable"..i guess, but its sure is one hell of a good year!!! even though the 'green' part not so memberangsangkan....hey, I'm satisfied with what I've got/done/achieve this year as of august!! I felt sooo blessed, I'm content with everything that went through, Alhamdullilah!!! Thank You God..for Your blessings..!!!
    When I'm thinking back for everything that happened this year alone, I thought that maybe I'm a lil bit ;
    • Too old for Music Events Such as ......this.
    • Too much to waste on time/money on roadtrip such as .....this *actually I'm glad for this event!-honestly*
    • Too fat and too scared to go for a diving lesson.
    • Too lazy to find a - "what ever your gonna do" buddies - (e.g -swimmingbuddies- by Faridpang/Jabbarwookies, -bowlingbuddies- by amarcrazyeyes, -tennisbuddies-, -squashbuddies-, -pantsbuddies-, -haircutbuddies-, -moviesbuddies-, -karaokebuddies- or etc.)
    • Too old and "jaded" to start a band,
    • Too poor to own a pony or a horse for an evening ride (another bright idea of Faridpang)
    • Too busy catching dreams and repeating routines.
    • Too tired and wasted to go on completing my 'list of accomplishments'
    • Too broke for Masters Programs enrollment.
    • Too deaf and too old for "Venom -Black Metal" albums
    • Smoked too much cigarettes in a day.
    • Still lacking of enthusiasm saving up money.
    • Too afraid being solitary and abandoned.
    • Too gay/metrosexsual for a cake bite - puas hati korg??.

    And I should maybe thinking more like : 
    when is it the right time to settle down, prepare myself for commitments, have kids, rent a home, reduce my mortgages/CCard debts, foresee what is in front of me and making sure that I'm ready for it, complying my oath as a muslim without fail and other obligation of life, "enjoying life when I'm at four-tees" and bla bla bla ..ahh~~ life as we speak, time lost as we breathe, youth wasted as we gone through our life, Faith is the only thing we have for this world and the afterlife. Godspeed to what ever behold for me in the future...let's go through this year with many more exciting and fun events in the coming future..owh I'm going to Hong Kong Next Year..Yieepppaaa!!!


    P/s : Today marks as the 1st Ramadhan 1431Hijrah..happy Ramadhan Al- Mubarak To All Muslims all over the world - Have a Blessed Fasting Month.Amin~

    Thursday, August 5, 2010

    Coheed & Cambria Rockin' KL 2010!

    Coheed Cambria rocked KL on the night of 1st August 2010. trully a BLAST!! Another "list of bands to be watch in life" ticked!! It's an accomplishment!!

    above pic are the best part about the event. CC rocks!! Salute!!


    Friday, July 23, 2010

    Permulaan Yang Tidak Berasas Langsung

    Inception - means initial, preliminary, basic
    Inception in bahasa means - permulaan , asas, dimulakan.

    How can I describe the film Inception : " a twisted 'reality of under conscious experience'  movie about a man whose trapped in the guilt of his wife dreadful suicidal tragedy, who only dreamt about being back home, back to normal and 'reality' life and being in the comfort of his childrens; Inception is a movie which filled with misleading movie plot, layer by layer of stories to replicate the uncanny image-making maze that no one will ever know the truth ending of the storyline whether it's a reality or just another layer of dream."
    such a pseudo psychedelic movie experience which even in reality makes you second guessing whether you're dreaming or you're in reality.

    But, It went the other way round for the critics in US, such as :

    "a primal nightmare, something to be mused over rather than analyzed, something you may forget as soon as it’s over."
    A. O. SCOTT - NY Times

    "I'd like to tell you just how bad Inception really is, but since it is barely even remotely lucid, no sane description is possible." - "It trades in crafty puzzles rather than profound mysteries, and gestures in the direction of mighty philosophical questions that Mr. Nolan is finally too tactful, too timid or perhaps just too busy to engage."
    Rex Reed - The Observer 



    There's more negative reviews than the positive one..believe me, but I have to give credit to Mr.Christopher Nolan for such a big gamble on his vision, cinematic inspiration and his idea of panoramic indulgence in order to bring at least a glimpse of 'reality' bagi filem Inception for else maybe not even dare trying. Salute!!

    Thursday, July 22, 2010

    For Those About To Rock, We Salute You!!

    Can't Wait to Rock On This.
    CC in KL bey beh!!

    Tuesday, July 20, 2010

    Just Another Random Thoughts

    Have you ever felt like finishing the cross line but didn't felt winning at the end of the line?
    For some people, being a winner can be even before the start. 
    Some, being in the 'race' itself is already a winner. 
    Some people feel that, it doesn't matter what ever the outcome, what ever position you are in, whether you're finishing it or not, you're still a winner.
    Some even though not trying their hardest, he or she may already felt a winner.
    Which is which? Whose or what are winning? 
    Is it fair for you to say that you're a winner just simply you've achieved want you want to achieve not seeing it wholly? 
    Does your achievement counts even though it is not significant at all nor people give a damn about it?
    Does it satisfy you even if you're not winning anything at all?
    Is it true that the truthful winner is just within yourself? Then why the hell competing in the first place?
    Is it fair to say that your achievement is all and doesn't counts for others thinks?
    Is it true that it is just simply enough for you being out there and trying your hardest?
    Is it enough to say just simply because you've tried?


    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Sometimes we really do need some refreshing perspective of gruesome reality in our lives,
    it doesn't have to be sunshine along the way, but it doesn't mean it has to be dark & cloudy all day,
    even in our darkest and lowest moment in our lives, remember..don't despair.
    The most important thing is you have done your best and be proud of what you've achieved.

    -----------------------------------

    Monday, July 12, 2010

    what really happened??

    A tiring, thrilling and also most exciting weekend!!!
    Berikut adalah antara-antara pencapaian yg berjaya dilakukan dalam bulan Julai :
    1. Menghadiri PAC yang sungguh meletihkan, thrilling and "pushing yourself to the limit" experience
    2. Berkenalan dengan rakan-rakan "pools of people just like as u are" yang super duper friendly.
    3. Berjaya mendapat pujian "Pergh muke ko mcm David Villa"  - Quote from a friend during my PAC selepas memandang borang profil II PAC aku - Aku bangga sekejap.
    4. Drive back to KL from Kemaman dengan catatan masa 3 jam 30 minit dengan kelajuan avg 120km/jam dengan avg jarak dalam 320km.
    5. Berjaya heading to Tioman dalam masa yang diberikan.
    6. Berjaya melakukan rally "Tidur average dalam 4jam/sehari" bermula dari 9/7/2010 sehingga 11/7/2010
    7. Berjaya membuat Aseng merajuk tak tentu pasal.
    8. Berjaya dalam pertandingan kad yang baru - "The LOSER"  
    9. Berjaya mengapungkan diri di Laut China Selatan tanpa menggunakan life jacket.
    10. Berjaya memenuhkan hari during the weekend selain tidur.
    11. Berjaya bermain bola tampar pantai buat kali pertama dalam hidup.
    12. Berjaya menghitamkan diri.
    Sekian my weekend summary. Kembali bekerja..Yosh!!!

    Thursday, July 1, 2010

    Savillia - Ain't Just A Name - It's A Memoir

    Al kisah suatu ketika dahulu, terdapat kumpulan muzik anak-anak muda bernama Savillia yang bercita-cita tinggi dalam menceburi bidang muzik secara serius. Anak-anak muda Savillia ini sangat berwawasan dan bersemangat tinggi dalam usaha mereka untuk mengembangkan music mereka ke pelusuk  dunia. "We want to conquer the California Underground music industry with our sound and visions" ujar guitarist mereka Khairunnizmorazin. Berikut adalah sedikit sebanyak info dan bio mengenai anak-anak muda Savillia ini, yang terdiri daripada : 

    1. Khairunnizmorazin Miesto - Guitarist Scandinavian yang mempunyai jemari halus bagaikan belalai sotong yang music influence beliau terdiri daripada Steve Vai dan Dream Theater - Riff-riff bisikan syaitan dan gorengan-gorengan maut 15 minit merupakan kelebihan gitarist Scandinavian ini.

    2. Amarussoligniasio Leamburetta- Guitarist/Drummer import dari pekan Sicily Italy yang bergenre emo metal core + mellow ala2 jack johnson ini tidak kurang hebatnya dengan riff-riff heavy dan "stok pecah kepala". Muzik dan riff-riff "pantas putus jari" + heavy merupakan influence terbesar beliau. Bermain gitar sambil bogel dan bergolek-golek di lantai adalah signature act bagi guitarist/drummer dari pekan Sicily ini.

    3. Ishkandorian Mehmudi - Merupakan Drummer ulung kumpulan Savillia yang berasal dari Turkey..mempunyai skill paluan drum yg mantap dan padu. Pencapaian terbaik beliau selaku pemain drum adalah menjadi drummer sessionist utk Kumpulan Skodeng Amah di Majlis perkahwinan Ali Mamak bagi isteri yang ke-3 di sekitar Manjong Perak.

    4. Syahrizwantulio Marquessa - Bassist American yang padu, bekas ahli Kumpulan Besi-Lika dari Carolina Barat yg digugurkan last minit diatas sebab-sebab yang tak dapat/perlu dimentionkan. Reasons beliau digugurkan last minute itu tidak perlulah dihebah-hebahkan kerana dikhuatiri akan mengaibkan beliau. Mempunyai history of suicidal tendency due to drug addiction. Namun when he plays his bass, he's the Man!! the "awesomeness" surrounds him. Skill/kelebihan beliau bermain secara "slap fucking awesomeness mode" dan the "master of slapping Funk" menjadikan beliau seorg pemain bass yg sgt digeruni oleh pemain-pemain bass lain di sekitar Carolina barat.(asal aku gigih pasal syah lak ni?)

    5. Aliqxio Imbrulianisto - Vokalis/Guitarist dari Ukrain yg mempunyai suara serak-serak basah ini adalah the youngest dan most good looking of Savillians.Most of his influential music adalah dari band-band "hardcore+metal+punk+scremo" seperti With Blood Comes Cleansing dan AILD. Pencapaian terbaek beliau adalah menjadi back up vocal untuk Mael XPDC di sebuah konsert "Selamatkan Tangkak dari Banjir Kilat" di sekitar Johor Bahru. Fun facts mengenai beliau ialah, merupakan ahli terakhir yg menyertai kumpulan Savillia.

    These so called very ambitious musician - Savillia ini banyak menghabiskan mase di studio jamming area "Kayjang town" - yang terletak di East California dengan dendangan lagu-lagu latihan dari kumpulan lagenda seperti "Musien", "KetertukaranKaki", "BesianLika" dan "Jarian Halus bak Mentega". Savillians sungguh bersemangat when it comes playing their musics. Anak-anak muda Savilia ini very restless , deeply connected and very enthusiast when it comes playing their own music. Each Savillians cuba mencipta platform of skills and music dalam mencorakkan underground music industri daerah East California. Creativity and the influence of each Savillians ini tidak dapat di sangkalkan lagi  dengan kehebatan dan kelunakkan  lagu-lagu ciptaan mereka yg very different from band-band music underground yang lain . The originality dan pendirian music bagi each Savillians  ini  yang so different and  became an influential icon for the kids of East California. Each Savillians mempunyai chemistry, understandings and visions of their ideal sound of music yang hanya Savillians sahaja yang mampu defines sendiri akan hala tuju dan vision muzik-muzik mereka.
    Pencapaian terbaik Savillia adalah bermain dihadapan crowd seramai 150 orang di belakang dewan makan Kolej Burhanuddin Helmi di west province of California. Persembahan ulung mereka mendapat sambutan yang agak hambar disebabkan cuaca yang tidak begitu mengizinkan, sound system yang tidak menepati standard mereka dan vokalis mereka yang kurang fit during the D-Day kerana sakit mata lantas mengakibatkan keterlupaan lirik lagu hit mereka "Where's The Umm'ss..". Itu lah kali pertama dan terakhir Savillia perform di hadapan crowd yang sebegitu besar. Sehingga ke hari ini, masih belum ada khabar berita dari Savillia selepas persembahan terakhir mereka di Pentas Battle of the Band Burhan. Owh Savillians where are you now? we're dying to hear such pure inspirational music from u..please come back~~ we miss you.. <3

    Gambar Band Savillia :

     Line-up Savillians  

     Antara-antara Crowd yang hadir

    Groupies2 yang setia menunggu

    Sekian Ulasan Ameryl dari Rolling Stone Magazine West Coast Province - Edisi June 2008.