The Endless Battle

Life is like a tumbling road nowadays..the road seems like narrowing at the end. I can't see myself being there at the end of the road; alas seems like my life are so far from being on the right track and I'm diving fast and deeper down to the fuckin' downfall lane and I'm not very proud of myself. So much infirmity happened nowadays. Infirmity.Disappointment.Rejection. I'm fucking terrified of these words. I'm having panic attack syndrome on daily basis. It's much worst than pregnancy contraction.*i guess*. I felt like my world is became more and more preposterous day by day. Life is like tumbling and rumbling in the 'failure'ness brawl. I'm in the state of euphoric 'apocalyp'ness and  I'm freaking out.

I indeed need some sort of moral catalyst to urge myself! maybe I'm just being such a whining OLD man worrying something that I shouldn't or wouldn't. I'm kinda lost.I hate myself for not doing the right thing at the first place. Sometimes I think I'm being such a wimp whining OLD man, wanting so much inveteracy and affirmative in life, feelings like : 'I-should-have-done-this-by-now/year/2013', thinking that I should be making at least 36k/year by now and etc..Maybe I'm just being overreacting, I was thinking  way too much about life, overly think about my future prospects : the only think that can bring me back to reality is that : I'm saying to myself : "YOU DON'T KNOW THE Freakin' FUTURE DUDE!! Stop the fucking madness!! It's so overrated - stop being too organized and too "one-step-ahead" about your life could ya? Life is all about taking risk..life is about taking second chance..Life is about making wrong decision and learning your lessons. Stop worrying too much about your life, let life run its course by itself and be happy with what and who your are...you're just perfect the way you are..you can't be too well plan and having so much plan in life..let life be..let god decide on your destiny and your life..let time passed by...let your life run unaccordingly. Like Florance Welch once quoted :

"Don't worry too much about the everyday things. Otherwise you'll lose touch with your own world,"

Don't freak out just simply because your slightly out of track. Life is a roller coaster ride ain't it? Life should be free. Life should be on the course by itself. Let god decide what HE have destined for you, don't lose your faith, have faith in qada' and qadar..Life is all about putting your effort wisely and always pray/hoping for something better..with gods will you'll be on the right track and life will soon get better.