Crash Landing

Life crashing you before you're expecting it. It's freakin' scary dude. No kidding. It's a one of the most freakish feelings that we all have to face in life when you felt that your time is not up yet. What if your plans went crashing and burns horrendously? what if something went wrong in the middle? what if you'll never make it? what if I will never achieve what I've hoped for? that's what I'm facing right now, Me Being fucking 'OLD' before my time.
*F F F F = I'm cursing rite now* 

Nevertheless with all the emotion roller coaster tumbling u upside down, you need to face it through. Bravely and manly. rite? that's what people would say and that's what I really should be doing. *working on it* 

On the other hand; It's not like I'm trying to be evasive and defensive regarding on my future. It's just there's a huge 'cloudy hazes of uncertainties' rumbling heavily in front of me. It's like I'm further from my 'solid gold' plans and everyday is like another step onto a 'foamy grounds' of make believe that I'm doing just fine with what I'm leaning onto right now. FUCK! I'm scared man. I really am. If only people can at least see a glimpse of future, would it be nice. Like I told u guys earlier, life is about taking risk and learning from mistakes rite? what if deep down inside you know that you can't even afford yourself making mistakes, it's not who you  really are and it's not the way you run your life? how am I gonna get through? Am I ready for it? *Sigh*

p/s after a few days of 'kekacauan jiwa' and numerous youth reconciliation attempts. Now I'm More Than Ready To Face My Future. Come On Life. Come Crashing Hard onto Me.

The Endless Battle

Life is like a tumbling road nowadays..the road seems like narrowing at the end. I can't see myself being there at the end of the road; alas seems like my life are so far from being on the right track and I'm diving fast and deeper down to the fuckin' downfall lane and I'm not very proud of myself. So much infirmity happened nowadays. Infirmity.Disappointment.Rejection. I'm fucking terrified of these words. I'm having panic attack syndrome on daily basis. It's much worst than pregnancy contraction.*i guess*. I felt like my world is became more and more preposterous day by day. Life is like tumbling and rumbling in the 'failure'ness brawl. I'm in the state of euphoric 'apocalyp'ness and  I'm freaking out.

I indeed need some sort of moral catalyst to urge myself! maybe I'm just being such a whining OLD man worrying something that I shouldn't or wouldn't. I'm kinda lost.I hate myself for not doing the right thing at the first place. Sometimes I think I'm being such a wimp whining OLD man, wanting so much inveteracy and affirmative in life, feelings like : 'I-should-have-done-this-by-now/year/2013', thinking that I should be making at least 36k/year by now and etc..Maybe I'm just being overreacting, I was thinking  way too much about life, overly think about my future prospects : the only think that can bring me back to reality is that : I'm saying to myself : "YOU DON'T KNOW THE Freakin' FUTURE DUDE!! Stop the fucking madness!! It's so overrated - stop being too organized and too "one-step-ahead" about your life could ya? Life is all about taking risk..life is about taking second chance..Life is about making wrong decision and learning your lessons. Stop worrying too much about your life, let life run its course by itself and be happy with what and who your are...you're just perfect the way you are..you can't be too well plan and having so much plan in life..let life be..let god decide on your destiny and your life..let time passed by...let your life run unaccordingly. Like Florance Welch once quoted :

"Don't worry too much about the everyday things. Otherwise you'll lose touch with your own world,"

Don't freak out just simply because your slightly out of track. Life is a roller coaster ride ain't it? Life should be free. Life should be on the course by itself. Let god decide what HE have destined for you, don't lose your faith, have faith in qada' and qadar..Life is all about putting your effort wisely and always pray/hoping for something better..with gods will you'll be on the right track and life will soon get better.

The Fallen Grace of a Boyhood - Welcoming The World of Manhood

What makes you a man?? what is it differentiate you a boy from a man?? simple question with simple answer.. responsibilities in my context (nikah). Taking the ownership of responsibilities and live your life with it. Bernikah is a big responsibilities and it's scary!! rite!!?? Nikah is like a testament of you being ready for the responsibilities to be hold. Am I rite?? during and before the Nikah session..men must be like stutter/shivering/nk terciritbirits/demam2. I think its normal to have those feelings. All the rush of blood, all the adrenalin rush, all the toilet sessions menyeramkan~~ some men felt that marriage is like a desolation of their freedom, a grotesque experience of a dying freedom and being single. but it's actually the exaltation of life that need to be felt and celebrate.

I've experience the 1st glimpse of  Manhood last friday.(again in my context : Nikah). It was a nervewrecking experience and a refreshing perspective of life as a man. Bernikah is like a receivership all mother of responsibilities passing from the father to a husband in the most sacred and religious way. It takes a courage to perceive such responsibilities. I salute to those men who've experience such.

I really hope I'm more than ready for the world of manhood when my time comes..hopefully it's not too soon..*wink*

welcome to manhood and married life ikan@norazri azis & Nurhidayah Rusli..have a blissful married life..~ Amin~

Unname Post

It seems like everything running as per normal nowadays..slow and 'dampy' like they used to..nothing much to look forward to currently. I guess its that time of the year where everything slows down and rotating accordingly. Life is as per usual : normal, content, confined, laying low. 

I've managed to go through the Ramadhan month successfully - Alhamdulillah..on the solat side maybe terkantoi a bit *banyak terbarai jugak la actually*..managed to overcome my temptations, as like previous years - I've successfully completed my 3rd Rukun Islam - 100% ya'll - I'm pleased with myself..Raya celebration was OKey..nothing much to celebrate since my granddad past away last year (rest in peace atok..we miss you).Raya celebration this year in moderate mode.

Nothing much to be celebrate and to be joyous about this year of Raya, except seeing your relatives, aunts, uncles and nieces. Yearly there will be a repetitive session with all my relatives - over and over - enthusiastic questions  reigning on me regarding "My Wedding Date/plans" - "Where's Ur Hani?" - "Bile nak bawak jumpe kitorang?" - gossiping about my future undertaking on marriage/career paths and so on ... bla bla bla..I got stuck with all the questions and the answers people; will always be the same  and repetitively - "Insyaallah, ade rezeki - ade la" - but thats what families do rite? catching up..bahan-bahan..gather up as a family and etc, besides on gaduh-gaduh rebut harta, cut each others throat..rite? well the rest of my Raya celebration is the same..

anyway wishing you guys..

Happy Eid Mubarak 1431Hijrah to all Friends, Families and Colleagues - Have a blessed and blissful Hari Raya to all of you.


Me Sincerely

"Gump"A Quotes

I've just doing my re-run films of my movie stash..and I've pick up the "best movie of the night by choice" : Forrest gump : Really moving and Inspiring~ One Hack a Movie! I wrote this entreè just to commemorate my feeling of being inspired in moving forward in life to what ever that you've gonna through, and keep moving forward till there's no more soul inside of you..

The tenacity, the patience, the positiveness, the effort in order to succeed in life, to live your life, no matter how imperfectness you are..as long as there's will..you'll be succeed. 

Some of the famous and my favorite quotes in the movie that touched and inspires me :

"Life is like a box of chocolate, We'll never know what we'll gonna get"

The Scene where Mrs. Gump was just being finished diagnosed by local town doctor and lying lifelessly on the bed. Slowly Forest Gump reaching his mother's hand and said :

______________________________________________

Forrest Gump narrative : "Mama always said, dying was a part of life. I sure wish it wasn't."

"Everybody have their own destiny Forest, Like me; I'm destined to be your mama," said Mrs. Gump

"How about my destiny, Mama? " Forest asked indistinctly

With a solemn and sad face Mrs.Gump replied :

"You're gonna have to figure that out for yourself."

"You have to do the best with what God gave you."

Forrest Gump : "Mama always said, dying was a part of life. I sure wish it wasn't."

another memorable scene is :

The part when Forrest having their wedding ceremony with Jenny at their home. The scene where Jenny was still sleeping on the bed and Forrest was looking towards Jenny lying while holding breakfast. Slowly Jenny open up her eyes and saw Forrest standing still in front of her. Jenny telling Forrest how sick she was and his illness cannot be cured (HIV). Jenny was lying on bed and said :

______________________________________________

Jenny Curran : "Were you scared in Vietnam?"

Forrest Gump : Yes. Well, I-I don't know. Sometimes it would stop raining long enough for the stars to come out... and then it was nice. It was like just before the sun goes to bed down on the bayou. There was always a million sparkles on the water... like that mountain lake. It was so clear, Jenny, it looked like there were two skies one on top of the other. And then in the desert, when the sun comes up, I couldn't tell where heaven stopped and the earth began. It's so beautiful.

Jenny Curran : I wish I could've been there with you.

Forrest Gump : You were.

Sedutan gambar dari filem "Forrest Gump" - (1994)

Sekian..sharing is caring

Colossal AssHat?? or Am I was On The Dream Of Becoming The Next American Idol??

with my recent happenings..I really need to giddy up and move forward..I can't say that the failure really hits me and make me really felt such a effin' LOSER but I know that I really need to move on..I need to build up back my confidence..I was demoralized..I was stunned, I felt all the things I've done such a waste..ahhh~ forget bout the past..think more of the future behold me..I really need to get back on track..That's the 1st thing that I really need to do rite now.
People do fails sometimes right? the best thing to do is that you've learned your mistakes and never to repeat it again. Nobody's perfect..I'm only a human..and I do make mistakes!! Moving to~

On the other side of Another story

On the evening of 19th August 2010, exactly on the 9th of Ramadhan, I've decided to berbuke with my Hunny at the CheeMeng Nasi Ayam Bukit Bintang. It was like any other day in KL, busy and packed,I've gambled my time and precious berbuke moments with my family for Chee Meng Chicken rice at BB.Bukit Bintang!! dengan jalan jam sume kot..takpe..kering bak kate my Hunny [Dua-dua kemarok nasik ayam Chee Meng]..and guess what..while I was having my yummy Nasi Ayam Chee Meng..Tiz Zaqyah *the artist tuh* passed me..I was shock and automaticaly my eyes was blinking-blinking towards her..while I was bermain-main mata with Tiz Zaqyah & at the end of the shop lies Natasha Hudson! staring at ME! I was stoked!! 2 artist in one time while bermate-mate with me..I can't take it..I was sooo overwhelmed..While my attention diverted back to miss Tizq..Natasha hudson who is on the other side was making a jealousy girlish face..aku serba salah..lalu aku terpandang my Hunny..aku tersenyum..tak kesah lah artist malaysia or Hollywood ke..hanya sorg je yang mampu buat aku cair..non the less my Hun..*winkwink*Gile Gempak!! cite aku!! cool bukan?!!* as my history with fellow Malaysian actress Sazzy Falak way already past me..such occurrence gives an Irony Thought - Am I an "MalaysianArtistChick Magnet"?? - Am I actually an artist trapped in a body of a living human which life which is such unfabulous and undeserve fame" *curiously thought..* tak leh blah cite aku*blluuwweerrgghhh - muntah darah*

sekian..selamat berbuke everyone!! Ini hanyalah cerita semata-mata tiada niat menyakiti atau menganiaya sesiapa..